a car loomed ahead of me,

i freezed.

seconds ticks and a minute had just passed,

the headlights shone and blinded me,

i took one step forward;

fear and anxiety, just ended

but misery remains.

note: if i ever see this lines on anyone diary or website, i'll swear i'll either sue you or slash your throat with a butcher's knife.

depressed. distressed. distorted. ashamed. useless.

what can i say? i just got back my results and it proves that i haven't been working hard enough. the marks, underline with red ink almost killed me. everyone thinks it's no big deal since you can study harder next time. NOT!

if i haven't been doing well enough, which means... i have to study harder. what if, i've studied harder, and still failed what should i do?

lately, i'm feeling crappy. have been snapping at anyone who pisses me off, which is quite normal of me. sometimes, i can't accept the reality. the question, 'why?' has since been haunting me in my nightmares. i've yet to find the anwers. i blamed myself. "have i sinned?" i also, blamed the cause and consequences. which is wrong. but, isn't it human nature to blame others than oneself. i did blame myself.

note: i'm really pissed right now because my diary looks like shit.