it's sort of spontaneous. you can't help it. at times, it happens almost instantly that by the time you realise what you just did, you have no time to react. so, you sort of go along with it.

it seems as though, it's second nature for me. i tend to do something that i later regret. i'm not referring to a life-long regret or any of that sort. just a tinge of regret perhaps. i constantly find myself doing things that i don't necessarily want to. however, i'll end up doing it. i'll then spend hours distressing myself with thoughts of might-have-beens. soon i'll end up blaming myself for what i've done and start questioning myself, why did i do it?

it's abit redundant to ask those questions now and to myself. all i know is, it's becoming a habit that i don't fancy at all. besides, i feel miserable half the time. this calls for my 'no worries' detoxification session with, who else than me.