whenever i seek, it won't last.

voila.

that has been the most critical part of every mission unaccomplished. every guy i didn't get together long enough to sustain anything. let alone calling it a 'relationship'. the whole thing is a joke. and i ain't laughing.

why?

cause i'm miserable.

at last, i found a guy who was so near to being perfecto. yup. i've said it. he's got almost everything i've ever wanted. so far. and nope. it's not gonna work.

why?

cause i'm tired.

he might be the one that i've been looking for all this while. the answer to my 'lonely prayers' as neil sedaka would croon. but he's not there. as in, he's not putting much effort in anything. just like the previous one. and the one before him.

they're all the same.

i search for them. they had no business with me initially. me being the curious toothead that i am, went over there and made myself vulnerable.

why?

cause i like him. (whichever he is)

i shouldn't. i wouldn't. i couldn't.

anymore.

no more.

but this time is different.

he was the closest thing i've ever gotten to..

flawless. unblemished. mine.